Today is the “official” last day of school (there’s still finals week to worry about). Aside from the existential crisis me and 93.89% of my classmates are going through, things are going swell. I’ve pretty much adapted to life back at my childhood home, which is never something I thought I would say. Once I left for college, I rarely ever came back; winter and summer breaks were spent away from home, and I only came home for birthdays and Christmas. So, what to do now, what’s the next move in my the game of chess that is my life?

Originally, I was going to move to NYC with my best friend to start a job that I had secured before graduation. Pretty much everything about that statement doesn’t make sense anymore. NYC has the most cases of coronavirus, my friend is having doubts about moving there, and the job I had secured has been retracted. However, its been a lifelong dream to move to NYC and try to make it big, and I’m not exactly to give up on that.

Although I studied Environmental Policy and Spanish at college, my main interest lies in project management. I’ve worked since freshman year with local firms while still attending classes, and my senior year I was given $10K from Marist College to head my own 13 acre preserve development project. I think my next step (aside from passing these finals *fingers crossed*) is to pursue the CAPM, which is an exam that if passed makes you a certified assistant project manager. From there I’ll take on a job, literally anywhere in the United States, that will take a shot on me being a junior project manager. From there I’ll take the PMP which is project manager professional, and work on projects as a project manager. Maybe go back to school for management consulting. Maybe work for McKinsely & Co. Maybe leave and start my own firm, or corporation. I don’t know, just some ideas. Hopefully they work out, and if they do, I’ll come back to this website and let you know.

Best wishes until then!

I made a video of some of the best times my friends and I had (on camera) over the course of our four years. Watch it below. Feel the nostalgia. Afterwords maybe make a nice cup of herbal tea, put on your noise-cancelling headphones, listen to lo-fi beats, and write a blog post. That’s what I did… FUN FACT: I shaved my head down to skin every year in college.

This is weird, right? I guess it was going to happen nonetheless, but like this? The End of College is something I write with the capitalization of a proper noun because it feels like one; an event personally equivalent to the Great Depression or The Alamo. And in retrospect, the world I’m entering into post-graduation is nearly on-par with the magnitude of those events. What were the chances of being born in a year that by the time I graduated college I’d be one of the worst generations effected by the COVID-19 pandemic and all the economic repercussions that followed it? Economists say we haven’t has such an economic downturn since the Great Depression, which was roughly over 100 years ago, so I’ll say my chances were just lower of 1%. At least in that case it feels like my friends and I won the lottery.

This is the second part of the series, you can find the first part here. Also, you can find the film by David Blandy on vimeo, or clicking this hyperlink

OK, a quick summary: The film starts out with a man, falling from the sky, and landing on the ground unscathed. The setting is Los Santos, the city that is premised in the game Grand Theft Auto (GTA) 5. The narrator starts the dialogue of the film by vaguely talking about a character called Fanon, someone who the character and the player are tied to in some regard. However, for now the role of Fanon can be attributed to the character. The player, referred to as the “settler”, used the character to create a world relished in the pinnacle of animalistic human nature: owning strip clubs and fast cars, seeking violence and money. The character, who no longer could handle being forced to do these things, broke free from the code of the software of the game of GTA. It was the development of the character’s consciousness that made him sentient, and it was the new character’s mission to create a world that is the antithesis of the world he left behind; one not governed by the explicative nature of the human mind, not ruled by money, sex, or power.

Throughout the film there’s a somewhat confusing view of who Fanon really is. At times it seems like Fanon is the character that has been brought to life within the GTA game, and others it seems like an entirely different being. Interestingly, there is no right answer. For the sake of the main plotline, yes call Fanon the character. But there is an infinitely more in-depth understanding to Fanon, and I mean it when I say infinite. Fanon is both controller and the controlled, creator and created. Fanon is God and at the same time mortal. Let me explain.

Step 1: Character is created by player ->
Step 2: Character become sentient, leaves player, starts new world ->
Step 3: Character is God of creation for new world, making it in its image ->
Step 4: Character creates other beings, or characters ->
Step 5: Repeat. ->

In the multiverse of worlds, and in our own reality, power is cyclical and regional. Fanon is everything, it just depends on what stage of development of Fanon you’re referring to. And in a lot of ways that’s the basis of religion, right? Everything is “holy” or simply put by a Tumblr quote “We are all star dust” or put by scientists “The Law of Thermodynamics”.

So, can we separate spider silken string (theory) in the cosmic cobweb of Finding Fanon 2 to find out, just exactly where our Fanon lies? Yes, we can. The film’s setting in the cycle is right before a revolution. In the beginning of the film, as if children of God or fallen angels, Fanon and his partner fall out of the sky and land on the Earth. They explore the terrain by walking around Los Santos and the perimeter beaches and mountains and all the while preparing to make the change. Fanon’s power lies in these two characters who basically say that the power lies within them, at a threshold significantly beyond what the player thinks. In many ways we have turned our back on nature, peoples, and the “right” way of life. This is exhibited by climate change, totalitarian governments, and the digital consumerist age. At the end of the film the characters descend to the depths of the ocean, as if it is up to the viewer of the film to make the change. Either the viewer can join the revolution and fight against the cruelties of the world and work towards a change or be overtaken by the current of change and drown.

You can find the film by David Blandy on vimeo, or clicking this hyperlink

The film starts out with a man, falling from the sky, and landing on the ground unscathed. The setting is Los Santos, the city that is premised in the game Grand Theft Auto (GTA) 5. GTA is a hyper realistic video game where players can customize a character that acts on the same level of a demi-god. The character is limited by some human restrictions like health, hunger, speed, and strength, but has the potential of a deity. The character, controlled by the player, can become whoever they wish, with the goal to acclaim as much power as possible. The player can make the character own real estate, be a pimp, purchase luxury items, gamble millions at casinos, kill pedestrians and police officers at ease, and own the world of Los Santos with friends.

For more on the game, check out the trailer

The narrator starts the dialogue of the film by vaguely talking about a character called Fanon, someone who the character and the player are tied to in some regard. However, for now the role of Fanon can be attributed to the character. The player, referred to as the “settler”, used the character to create a world relished in the pinnacle of animalistic human nature: owning strip clubs and fast cars, seeking violence and money. The character, who no longer could handle being forced to do these things, broke free from the code of the software of the game of GTA. It was the development of the character’s consciousness that made him sentient, and it was the new character’s mission to create a world that is the antithesis of the world he left behind; one not governed by the explicative nature of the human mind, not ruled by money, sex, or power.

This seems all mighty and good, but the more we analyze the idea the character puts forth, the more we begin to observe the cyclical nature of creation. While walking by the train tracks, narrator says the most important quote of the film, which is: “What if Fanon’s message isn’t only of love?” The narrator previously described uprisings, protests, and revolutions as markers of a transition of a new world, but they have been suppressed by global consolidations of power. I think that these two messages are tied together, that revolutions happen because there is love for a new idea for a different world, like the one Fanon has. However, the love to create stimulates the hate to destroy, and that’s why the message isn’t only love. Also, it’s a paradox, because the ones that take over the world eventually become warped by the power and lose their sense of touch with the idea, and more revolutionaries are born to overthrow them too. Another idea brought up in the narration is the idea of being an immigrant, an outsider, or a racial minority. The narrator states “their skin changes their experience of the world, their dreams, their reality…”. The message is that those that are conducting the uprising are minorities, and that they are doing it because they’ve been pushed into a corner and have to fight back because it has gone too far “they have no air to breathe”. I think this emulates history in many ways, such as the revolutions by colonies and by racial groups across the globe. One group oppressing another seems to be an unfortunate theme of humanity. It does, however, feed back into the idea of needing to destroy an establishment with hate first before an establishment of love can be set forth.

The art film Finding Fanon 2 really evokes important ideas relative to the introspective discussion of humanity’s placement in the world. The concept of the film is very “meta”-style (the GTA character who embodies a human breaking free from human control to create a new world for his version of humanity that is based on the player’s humanity), and it needs to be that way for the point to truly get across. There is a lot to unravel about the film, so look out for the subsequent blog post on the film where I will diver deeper into specific scenes of the film that reveal who Fanon is!

And to see more videos from the film’s creator, check out this hyperlink

Its easy to get caught up in the mob-driven self-pity of the coronavirus pandemic because, well there’s a lot of to be upset about. This is especially true for college students. Events, parties, traditional class, relationships, goals… plans in general have taken a hiatus. For near graduates, the economic recession doesn’t offer much hope for the job of a lifetime as predictions for unemployment begin to reach as high as 20%. All of this is grim but it doesn’t mean that personal growth or progress needs to be put in hold. Rather, taking advantage of the time forced away from “normal” life may be the best thing that could happen to you. The time to reassess, reorganize, and rediscover lost passions is now here. Pick up a book on a habit, skill, or hobby you’ve been meaning to get into. If you’re like me, you focus on self-growth, leadership, or personal finance. Here are some books in that field that I’ve read that are life changers:

“Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert T. Kiyosaki : a personal finance book that refutes traditional notions on saving and investing. This book is critically acclaimed worldwide and is the foundation for millions of people’s education (only $6!).

“The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Manson: a self-growth book on how to better deal with everyday problems by taking a stoic approach. Written by a blogger and motivational speaker, each chapter is funnier and more real than the last.

“Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth: a self-growth book on why talent doesn’t guarantee success, drive does. It is an inspirational dive into why you can do anything, with the science to back it up.

“The Perfect Mix: Everything I Know About Leadership I Learned as a Bartender” by Helen Rothberg PhD: a leadership book that emphasizes the development of ADVICE (Action, Determination, Vision, Integrity, Communication, Empathy) through stories about her careers in education, consulting, and most importantly bartending. Rothberg’s management lessons teach readers how to become a forerunner in any field or aspect of life.

*Woah* *Oof* *Ugh* The first three onomatopoeia that come to mind. Your eyes are still closed as you limbo in purgatory; heaven being the sweet dream that keeps you from the hell that is about to be reality. Tossing and turning like you’re wrestling an imaginary alligator, your body finally comes to the conclusion its time to move. Like a turtle poking its head out of its shell, one eye peeks open as the rest of your head is smushed into a disheveled pile of pillows. Sunlight catches your eye. *Ouch* You should’ve closed the curtains more. Just as you take a glance over at the alarm clock you find out that ITS 10:50 A.M. AND YOU HAVE A TEST IN 10 MINUTES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Get up. Clothes. You need clothes. Sweatpants/sweatshirt. Backpack? No time to brush your teeth. Mouthwash. Run down the stairs. Spit the mouthwash out on the grass. Power walking because you’re going to be late but also power walking so other people don’t know you’re going to be late. 10:58. OK SCREW THE POWERWALKING. You’re jogging. Wow, you’re in terrible shape. Open the door. Prf. hasn’t started. Thank God Prf. hasn’t started. Great, you have pit stains. And great, you’re sitting next to that crush you like. And you forgot deodorant. Good morning!

And you thought you had it all figured out. They say kids are naive, but some kids never grow up. Toddlers in ties trying to make a run at adulthood, never knowing that they’ll always be stuck at the starting line. Dismantled psyches from the beginning, screaming from the inside out but its not socially acceptable to have someone hold your hand anymore. You’re a man, or a woman, or something in between but definitely not a child. Get a job, pay taxes, contribute, and then die. No questions, head down, rat race, miss the train, spill the coffee, jumped, beat, lost. And you thought you had it all figured out. That this was it. This was all it was meant to be and its better to be part of the pain then be part of nothing at all because you at least want to feel something. But then the next train comes and you pick yourself up and shuffle on forward past the sliding doors. The tears don’t come but you feel the salt in your throat. The Aral Sea. Overhead the conductor says *next stop, wherever the fuck the narrator is going*… that’s Our cue. We get off the train, and We move forward. Silently hoping that We don’t have it all figured out;

that we’re naive kids and that we’re wrong.